I'm Every Woman - Chaka Khan

I spent half of Friday and most of Saturday at the BlogHer 08 conference. I was definitely not the "prototypical" attendee. I have this pathetic blog, and I post on the GlobalGiving blog every so often, but in general I was there as a partner to the organization, not as a blogger. Ahem, BlogHer.

I came into the office today and about half of the members of our gargantuan team asked me, individually, "how was the BlogHer conference?" And each time I said the same thing - it was fascinating.

And that is what it was.

It was a business conference.
It was a party.
It was sorority.
It was a therapy session.
It was a comedy central special.
It was a drama queen event.
It was a hyper-wired community.
It was the mommy bloggers and the shark advertisers.
It was the netroots and the RNC's digital woman.
It was not very racially or ethnically diverse. Honestly.
It was Wii fitness, Lesbian Dad and the makeover booth.
It was twitter, ustream and blogspot. nonstop.
It was east, south, north, west.
It was lipstick lesbians and white trash moms.
It was fabulous.
It was alive.
It was crazy making.
It was inspiring.
It was fun.

It was every woman.

Down Under - Men at Work

It's been a while since I thought about or listened to this song. It was released sometime while I was in college for sure - maybe 1983. I remember that we all thought Men at Work was really cool, with "Who Can it Be Now," and then "Land Down Under." Australia seemed like an exotic place a LONG plane ride away. We got into it when a bunch of friends who played on the UC Davis women's basketball team went to Australia to play.

I was reminded of Men at Work while mulling over the book I just finished: The Road From Coorain, by Jill Ker Conway. All I knew about Conway was that at some point in the 70s she became the first woman President of Smith College. The book is a memoir of her formative years, first on the family sheep farm in the outback, and then in Sydney in the 1950's. I had first seen the book years ago, but recently my mom sent me a copy, suggesting I might enjoy it. I was only moderately enthusiastic about reading it, but cracked it open nonetheless.

I'm so glad I did.

Life for educated, intellectual women in Sydney in the late 50's probably wasn't that different from life in most parts of the United States at the same time. Jill Ker was a girl under the manipulative control of her widowed mother. But more so, she was coming to grips with her self-expectations as an Australian, as a woman, as a professional. Toward the end of the book, which ends when she is about 25 and heads to Harvard to get a PhD, Ker Conway writes aggressively about experiencing explicit and initially devastating discrimination in the job market.

And then I thought, "Wait, why was there not a woman leading the most famous women's college in the world until the 1970s?" Hmm. I realize how much I, a 45 year old, took for granted about what doors were open to me in the 1980s as I went to college and entered the working world. But I grew up in a very progressive household - my mom was the 12-year old tennis champ of San Francisco Parks & Rec in 1942 for goodness sake. I guess my frame of mind was shaped by having played sports, and the changing views and rules of that era - including the passage of Title IX - but I was in a cohort that represented the beginning of a different mindset.

The evolution of womens' views about their "equality" has really been on my mind for the last few months - Hillary's run at the White House, seeing Billie Jean King (Can you say Women's Sports Foundation?) in DC recently, a conversation with someone working on Obama's "women's outreach" strategy. This last one - the Obama friend - mentioned that they are debating inside the campaign what to call this "woman thing (my words)." And she admitted that "they" are mostly women 45 or older, for whom the term "post-feminist" is insulting at best.

At the same time I'm struck by the crop of female summer interns we have this year at GlobalGiving. These young women don't feel hindered by their gender. They do not relate to "the women's movement" or the concept of "feminism" in the historic definition of these terms. It's all pretty much a given for them. But they do appreciate the leaders who paved the way for them. And they do realize that, conceptually, women are still not equally compensated for the same jobs, are still objectified in many/most US sub-cultures, and are still sometimes subjected to institutional sexism. It's just not how they view the world.

As someone who came in the "tweener" generation, I feel a strong obligation to be a bridger between the generations that came before and after me, who seem to not really understand each other's perspective yet.

The band is called MEN at Work...miles to go before we sleep.

Food Glorious Food (Originally from Oliver!, redone for the movie "Ice Age")

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I am periodically accused of being a beer or wine snob. And when this happens I give my standard answer - it's not worth the calories if it's low quality and sucks. I truly believe that. I'm also self-aware enough to know that I am a food snob. Not that I don't enjoy french fries or a pizza - but they have to be GOOD french fries (you know, real potatoes, a little crunchy but not overcooked, not too thick, etc) or pizza. I admit it. I am a pain in the ass on a road trip.

The other day I picked up a book I love given to me by my friend Allison Wolff - The Intellectual Devotional - and I opened it to a random page, as I often do. Lately the random pages have seemed to be less random. Regardless, that day's page was on Epicureanism. I've of course heard this word and used the awesome Epicurious website to find new recipes many many times. But I didn't know much about the origin of the term. Here's what I learned:

Epicurus (341-271 BC) was a greek philosopher.

Epicurus was fundamentally concerned with ways to be happy. Not just shopping, eating and drinking. He gave us three basic rules for happiness:

1. Have good friends and spend lots of time with them. Live with them if possible.
2. Be free. Loosen as many ties to business and politics as possible. Be self-sufficient.
3. Reflect. A well-lived life is one that is thought about, reflected on, and lived thoughtfully.

As much as the notion of "epicureanism" has an elitist tinge to it, Epicurus himself was a proponent of egalitarianism...even let slaves (yes, darker skinned people) and women (egads!) into his classes. Crazy dude.

The Epicurean crowd divided pleasures into those that were static and those that were kinetic. They believed that sating static pleasures (e.g. having a philosophical conversation) doesn't diminish your desire - it typically makes you want to do more. A kinetic desire, on the other hand (e.g. the desire for food), is satisfied and then you experience the lack of that desire. They warned against these kinetic pleasures because they, in today's vernacular, can lead to addiction. As a result they believed we should live relatively austere and simple lives, with only an occasional luxury.

So I was thinking - I guess when I get called a beer snob, or whatever kind of eating and drinking snob, I could just say, "no, I'm an Epicurean," but then I read one more piece of the story. These guys "lived communally and abstained from political activity." Oh well. Bring on the Bud Light and Dominos.

Only for A Little While (Sugarbeat) and Same Ole River (Sam Bush)

Didn't make it to Telluride this year but I listened to a lot via www.koto.org...and took some time to find/scan old photos, and made this little show.

Umbrella - Originally Rihanna w/Jay-Z, covered by Marie Digby

FOR ANGUS

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

Sunshine - Jonathan Edwards (for Mom on Mother's Day)

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Today is Mother's Day, 2008. I was supposed to be finishing up a really nice 24 hrs with my mom right now, dropping her off at the airport in Burbank to head back to Northern California. But instead, I am lying on the couch on my friends Meredith & Kate's, watching 60 minutes, and hoping that the Immodium I took two hours ago kicks in before too long.

The original plan was a great one: I had to be here in LA for a cool conference Friday night and Saturday, and then I'm guest-teaching a class at UC Irvine on Tuesday. Mom was to fly down Saturday afternoon from No Cal, we'd have a nice dinner in Santa Monica, stay on the beach at the Georgian Hotel, walk on the beach this morning, and spend the afternoon at the Getty Museum in Malibu before her departure. Sounds great, huh?

But instead, I found myself running to the bathroom when I arrived in Burbank from Portland on Friday afternoon, somehow managed not to toss my cookies on our new contact at Evite. and made it all the way to Eagle Rock before depositing my breakfast and lunch out the car door two blocks from my destination. Despite the fact that Meredith would barely let me near my goddaughters for fear I would contaminate them with my "bug," I was glad to be in a familiar place. (ok, fair enough, since they are all traveling later this week and who wants to travel with a barfing, diarrhea-y 5 year old?).

While I was bummed to miss Friday's opening reception at the home of Sex and the City creator, Darren Star, I was sure it would pass quickly and I'd be up and at 'em for the conference on Saturday. No such luck. I just couldn't do it. My body was not cooperating. Midday, mom and I decided there was no way a nice dinner or evening in a $300/night hotel together would be fun for either of us, so she bagged the trip. By last night I had consumed about 2 oz. of applesauce and a piece of toast. Woo Hoo. But the aches were overwhelming. Thank goodness for the heating pad, soda, and TLC provided by my friends.

Today's been better, went for a little walk, ate a banana and some eggs. But that did NOT agree with me, hence the Immodium.

My mom's great. She always made me feel like I could be whatever I wanted to be, and she and my dad continue to be my biggest fans. She's funny, smart, politically-savvy and knows how to IM. I would have loved to see her for Mother's Day, but whatcha gonna do? Next year for sure.

Oh, why Jonathan Edwards? Cuz every time I hear this song it reminds me of being about 10 years old driving down the street with my mom, and her turning down the song in the middle where the lyrics are, "He can't even run his own life, I'll be DAMNED if he'll run mine." Ok, so she didn't like her 10 year old swearing out loud. For Father's Day I'll write about my dad and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Karma Chameleon - Culture Club

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Culture Club - Kar...

I AM ANGELINA JOLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have had a deep look into your soul and have realised...

...you are Angelina Jolie WHOAH THERE! If you're not counselling refugees or pressuring Hollywood producers to finance Ecuadorian co-operatives, you’re signing off charity cheques like so many autograph pads. Unless you’re telling us porkies. Maybe you should glide by the message board and let us all know how to be glamourous and good all at once.

This from a little thing called Karma Calculator.

Let me just say that I think Angie is the bomb. Brad too. And I am a believer in karma for sure. If you aren't, just think about how happy and healthy the lives of Dick Cheney, Leona Helmsley and Michael Vick were/are.

I hope I can live up to my new found identity.